Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The MOST epic of splits...and MORE of its parody!!!

Okay, let me start this post with a revelation: I've just got to know what actually Chuck Norris said in his epic split! (I may have a hearing problem. Sigh.) It's a part of Hamlet Act 1 Scene 1 where Marcellus stated:

Some say that ever 'gainst that season comes

Wherein our Saviour’s birth is celebrated,

The bird of dawning singeth all night long.

And then, they say, no spirit dare stir abroad.

The nights are wholesome. Then no planets strike,

No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,

So hallowed and so gracious is that time.

The modern interpretation shall be:
Some people say that just before Christmas the rooster crows all night long, so that no ghost dares go wandering, and the night is safe. The planets have no sway over us, fairies' spells don’t work, and witches can’t bewitch us. That’s how holy that night is.

According to Wikipedia: Marcellus, Barnardo and Francisco are sentries at Elsinore. Francisco gives up his watch to Barnardo in the opening of the play, and it is Barnardo and Marcellus, who first alert Horatio to the appearance of King Hamlet's Ghost. Marcellus goes with Horatio to tell Hamlet about the Ghost's appearance. Marcellus is the most prominent of the three.

And to do justice, here's the original clip of the "the most epic of splits" performed by Jean-Claude Van Damme in "Volvo Trucks - The Epic Split feat. Van Damme (Live Test 6)". The viral clip was uploaded on 13 Nov and has gathered 64,778,886 views!!


And damn, what Van Damme (pardon the pun) said in the clip is really cool:
I've had my ups and downs

my fair share of bumpy roads and heavy winds.

That's what made me what I am today.

Now I stand here before you.

What you see is a body crafted to perfection,

a pair of legs engineered to defy the law of physics ...

and a mind set to master the most epic of splits.

C-o-o-l...

The parody of a viral video is just as expected. In less than 1 week (on 19 Nov, to be exact), Channing Tatum, who plays Jenko in the film "22 Jump Street" presented "Jenko's Epic Split" which has since boasted 14,258,806 views!


I like what he said too:

“I’ve had my ups and downs. Being an undercover cop, that’s what made me what I am today. Surviving High School was no easy task. Neither is being a college freshman at my age. But because of this, my body is now engineered to defy the laws of physics and the mind set to master the most epic of splits.”

On 19 Nov, there was also a parody of the split uploaded on YouTube, "Volvo Van Damme Epic Split Udettos Parody" which has gathered 171,190 views. Kinda surprised because I find the clip very amusing. The most epic of farts. LOL.


On 23 Nov, a hilarious epic split (up) was uploaded. Check out the clip, "THE MOST EPIC SPLIT (Volvo Van Damme Parody)" with 76,777 views so far.


On 5 Dec, "Gaza Cars - The Epic Split feat. Bsyazlma Mahmoud Zuiter (Live Test 6)" which has gathered 434,081 views could easily have been the one parody with the best monologue! Poignant, but still somewhat funny. Especially about the part of him miss taking a shower and that there is no gas in town. Heh.


I have been living in Gaza for a long time

and up to this moment I feel like I am living and not living, like Amro Diab

The electricity cuts off 12 hours at a time. I have come to sleep and wake up and the electricity would still not be back

and the water comes on when the electricity is off. I miss taking a shower!

All of this does not make Van damme better than me

but, unfortunately, there is no gas in town.

And the closing scene has "And the Palestinian people continue to express their troubles and crises by different means". Now, this is sad.


I am not sure who "Amro Diab" is. Perhaps he's an Egyptian singer and composer of pop music, "Amr Diab" instead?

OK. Now to train for my own epic split. Yeah, right...

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